Are you going to miss the baby?

"Are you going to miss the baby after it's born?" 
This is probably one of the most common question people ask me when I tell them I'm a surrogate. The answer is, no. I went into this knowing that this baby is not mine, not even a little bit, she was made from her mom's egg and her dad's sperm, nothing of mine, or Mat's went into making her. I do care for her, and I feel a "connection" of sorts, but it's really the same feelings I have towards my nephew. I love him (carter!) a ton, and anything he needs that my sister asks of me, I'm there. If my sister needed me to watch him for 9 months, I would, in a heartbeat. I would kiss him, feed him, tuck him in every night, take care of him if he was sick, but when those 9 months were over I would be so happy that he gets to be back with his mom and dad, where he belongs. That's the way I see this baby, I make sure she gets all the nutrients she needs, and I am doing everything I can to keep her healthy and make sure she stays put until it's time to come out. But when that time comes (May 14th) I will be so happy that she will be going home with her parents, parents who have been waiting a very long time for her. 
I plan on holding her after she is born, but not immediately, I think the first person that should hold her is her mom, and I am so excited to see her face when that tiny little baby gets placed in her arms. I remember when KayLeigh and Raigan were placed onto my chest, right after coming out, and it was an amazing feeling, I can't wait to share that moment and feeling with baby momma :) I plan on giving birth, getting a massage, and taking a nap, It's going to be weird not having to take care of anyone but myself after giving birth, but I also think it's going to be pretty nice :)
Obviously I can't predict the future, or exactly how I'm going to feel after the flood of hormones that come with childbirth, but this is how I expect to feel, how I want to feel, and I think if I go into it with this mindset, all will be ok. I am very lucky to have a wonderful, supportive husband who will take care of me and make me feel better if I do end up feeling a little sad, or weird afterwards, so I know I"ll be ok. 
The only person I really worry about in this whole thing is KayLeigh, she is pretty interested in my belly, and likes to give baby kisses. If I'm being honest the only time I have ever thought "man I wish we were having another baby" was when KayLeigh cuddles with my belly and talks to the baby or gives her kisses... that feeling quickly leaves when she starts screaming at Raigan, and Raigan poops on the floor.. but it has come up, briefly. ;)  KayLeigh is very concerned about me having the baby more than anything I think, she caught part of a movie where a woman was giving birth and screaming, ever since then, anytime birth comes up, she has to make sure I"m going to be ok. She asks me weekly if I'm afraid, or if it's going to hurt, I guess you could say she loves me :)  

So, No, I am not going to miss the baby, in the sense that I know she's not mine, I don't want her to be mine, and I know I will be able to keep up with her life in the future. I think I will be just fine emotionally after giving birth, and I am looking forward to no sleepless newborn nights, just coming home to my baby girls, who sleep pretty well, most of the time :) 

Another blog?!

I have decided to start another blog, and maybe I'll keep up with this one a while longer, who knows! ;) I am going to talk all about my surrogacy journey in this blog, because the more people I tell that I am a surrogate, I realize that people don't really know a whole lot about surrogacy. Feel free to ask me whatever questions you have on here, or through facebook, and I will answer them to my best ability :)

So I guess I'll start this post just by sharing how this whole surrogacy thing started. 

Pregnancy has been easy for me with both girls, it was easy for me to get pregnant and stay healthy throughout both pregnancies. I enjoy being pregnant, up until the last few weeks ;) I initially looked into donating my eggs one Time when we were a little low on money, I quickly decided that was something I couldn't do for many reasons. But google or whatever it is on computers that tracks what you search for starting suggesting surrogacy sites on the side of my facebook.. Sneaky computers! I started looking around at some agencies and thought that it might be something I could do. I brought it up to Mat, and he was totally on board with it all, we had some questions about the whole process, but I decided to go ahead and fill out a profile for an agency I had come across, Prime Genetics. I'm not sure why I picked that agency, it just looked good I guess, but I am glad I did, because the ladies that run it are awesome and very supportive. 
I filled out about half my profile, then life happened and I didnt get to finish it right away, about two weeks later one of the coordinators called me and asked if I was still interested, so I finished the profile and chatted with her a bit, less than two weeks after that I had two potential couples interested in working with me!  I spoke to the first family and just didn't click with them, but I was hopeful for the second couple, they seemed really eager to start a family. I had a phone conversation and later that day a skype call with D&S, and I knew they were who I wanted to do this for. They are wonderful people who have been waiting a long time to start a family, and I feel pretty lucky and special that I am the person they chose to help them!
It all happened pretty quickly, we signed contracts and started on the medical side of things, I was lucky and got pregnant on the first try, and I am now about 28 weeks along with a baby girl :) 

I'll post different topics along the way, and if anyone has questions feel free to ask, and I'll do my best to answer them :) Love you all, and I'm excited to share this journey with you!